HI Sabian, your project work on Tartuffe was very interesting and enjoyable to read. You had a lot of very good information and your paragraphs were focused and thorough. You did a good job on focusing on a certain topic or issue and expanded it very well. Although one thing that I would suggest is clarifying your thesis, since I could not tell at the introduction what you were going to be discussing. I am a little confused as to what exactly I should be reading or what your main point is, are you trying to address the different ways that Tartuffe could have been improved. In the second paragraph you give a brief historical summary about the play and in the third paragraph you talk about the story itself, and in the fourth you talk about the different characters and their effect on the story. I feel like the transitions could be much smoother and a little bit of organization on the paragraphs, but that is my perspective. You do a fantastic job analyzing the play and giving your point of view, but it would be great if there was a stronger and clearer thesis. Overall you did a great job.
I found your project on Tartuffe to be quite the eye opener. Upon reading your first few paragraphs I got a real sense of the purpose behind Moliere's writing. Linking the text back to historical context was a great way to secure ideas about the reading to something very tangible. Your statement about the dues ex machina ending I felt was spot on in reference to the continuous need to appeal the king. Why is it, do you think, that these playwrights felt so strongly about changing their works of art for the king that they would sacrifice even their own morality. The details regarding Dorine are strong in your article. Also, Tartuffe is a character who, himself, is a man who sheds his own morals, but for his own gain. Do you think that maybe Tartuffe could be symbolic of the playwrights of the time as well? I would say that your project looks excellent, great job!
Hi Sabian! I think that your project had a really great idea, and I really loved your idea of having Dorine be the one that saved the day. I also love how you formatted your project because it was formatted clearly as an essay. I had a lot of trouble with that, so I admire that a lot and can use that and reflect it in my own project. I think you had a lot of great points about how Dorine aided in saving everybody, and I wish that you had kind of focused more on Dorine rather than the play as a whole because you spend a lot of time explaining the context in the play itself but I think you could’ve focused on what you were actually trying to get at. I really wish you had written more about Dorine because I think you have a bunch of really clear ideas and you just need to build on them and show them to us because I can tell that they’re brewing in your brain and you can show us something amazing. All I wanted was more. Overall great job, though!! :)
Hey Sabian, I want to thank you for doing a great job on your literary analysis as it gave me a few ideas on how i should approach to my future projects. I think you made a valid point that the the way the play "Tartuffe" concludes was done in the expense of King Louis's favor because he was watching the play. You did a good job by proving that to me through the use of short embedded quotations and well thought out explanation. I also liked that there wasn't much summarizing of the text as compared to your first revision of your draft. This time you take one textual evidence piece and analyze it in your body paragraphs. I also agree that if Dorine, who was set up as a charismatic and intriguing character, was able to outwit the antagonist, it would've made the ending ten times better. But like you said, Moliere wastes that opportunity because he wanted to impress the king.
Hi Sabian! I found your analysis of both poems to be very in depth and thoughtful. You basically did a close reading of the poems, analyzing the meaning of each line to demystify the true message of the poets. It made it so much easier to follow along with your thoughts, and see where you were going. However, maybe you could break up the paragraphs, because they were very big, as you covered the whole poem all at once in each. This made it a little harder to read.
Also, I think it would help make your points stronger if you didn't separate the authors by paragraph. Your point is to compare them, but your Dickinson paragraph doesn't overlap much with your Keats paragraph, making it feel like you've done two different analyses instead of one compare and contrast essay. Maybe you could look at some lines side by side to show your comparisons more clearly. Hope this helps!
Sabian, you did a great job on your project submission. Your thesis was clear, and you pulled strong facts from the text to support your thesis. You made sure you compared/contrast how each author felt about death. I could clearly see that both authors felt that truth regarding death should be distorted in some way even though it was for different reason. In the end, through your thesis I could see how both authors, again, in different ways chose to give up on life. Emily isolated herself while Keats felt that it was pointless to have dreams since one will not know if they can and will achieve them. After reading your analysis, I realized that how people view death, shapes their beliefs and determines the way they live. My only suggestion is maybe breaking your third paragraph up, you had a lot of information regarding Emily’s poem. You don’t want to overwhelm your readers with facts that lose sight that there is another point that you are introducing. I enjoyed your project.
Hey Sabian, You did great work with your project 2 submission first of all because you a brave thing by starting with such a small introduction and this is brave because not only does it leave more for analysis but it leaves more room to show how much you know the text you are writing about. This is very impressive since this essay show you clearly grasped the topic in your essay and with your strong thesis the overflow of quotes help prove your point to be true. You took the theme of death and made me understand line by line how your author is explaining that through their poem and as a reader that was very helpful. Also helpful when it comes to a reading like this that I wasn't to fond of when reading the assigned readings. The skill of comparing two authors is one I also did because it gave me more than enough to write about and allowed me to use poems as my readings I would write about so very smart thinking.
Hello Sabian! Great work on your second project! You had a great thesis which helped me see what you were going to talk about in your project. I also think you did a great job analyzing what both authors were talking about in their writings and you did a great job explaining their views on death. It appears both authors have a quite depressing view when it comes to death and its interesting what their takes on death are. Keep up the great work and can't wait to see more!
Hello Sabian, This project has an incredible amount of depth which I really liked! You choose to compare and contrast the theme of death is two different writings from Dickinson and Keats. What struck me as the strongest writing in this project was your breakdown of Emily Dickinson's "1129". I felt it was strong because you would give your dialogue on what you believed the poem said about death, then you back it up with the literature, and then you would give the interpretations of the words that are used in each line you cited. This really helps shed some clarity on what she was trying to convey in her work on death. The second writing you chose by Keats was also a great one on the theme of death. I felt you went in more of a reflective direction when diving into his work, and I think that works better than the more analytical breakdown of Dickinson. It was a job well done, and I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Sabian! I like that you chose Emily Dickinson to focus on for this project. I enjoyed reading her work. I like that you began by giving some insight into Dickinson’s life. She was kind of a strange women but I guess she was just shy. It is a shame she did not want to publish most of her work because it is so well written and very unique. I like your analysis of the poem “1129” it was very thorough. So was your analysis of John Keats’ “When I Have Fears That May Cease To Be” I especially liked “Death is an uncontrollable force that creates so much uncertainty about one's lifespan to the point where Keats feels it's pointless to have dreams and aspirations because he can't know for sure if he can achieve everything he wants to.” I really liked reading your project it was well put together. Keep up the good work!
Hi Sabian! I enjoyed reading your second project submission. It was really interesting to read about your take on death between the two authors and how they saw death. You analyzed this extremely well and I like how you organized the paragraphs by work. You also backed up your claims well with evidence and even explain that evidence well. I also like how you emphasized in the conclusion what you were talking about and even concluded your project submission very well. You did a really good job at making your project submission topic agreeable and what you had to say about death made a lot of sense. I agreed with a lot of what you had said in your paragraphs. I do not really see anything wrong with your project submission. I only can suggest that maybe you can divide the really long paragraphs so they are not as long. Overall, you did a really amazing job on your project submission and chose a really good topic to write about. Great job and keep up the good work!
Hi sabian! I just read your third project submission and I want to let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed it. You did a good job in explaining the point of view of Li's character on Du tenth and the brothel owner. I liked that you formatted each point of view into separate paragraphs and I think you put in alot of effort into explaining Li's point of view by mentioning the internal struggle he had because he was allowing other people's perceptions to alter his perception of Du tenth's love for him. I liked that you inlcuded the example of his friend who was trying to change his mind and I also liked that you mentioned that why Li was fearful of the public finding out that he married a prostitute. I liked that you shared your point of view and that you used quotations to back your view on Du tenth and proved that she was a faithful woman to Li but he screws it up because he allowed his doubts to change his mind completely. Overall, excellent work!
Hello there Sabian! Feng Menglong's "Du Tenth Sinks the Jewel Box in Anger" was the perfect choice for your given prompt which was analyzing the different views of characters within the story and how they personally felt towards the main female character (in this case Du Tenth). I think your thesis makes sense but could use a tweak in wording maybe? I like the breakdown in your paragraphs, one for each person you are analyzing and then one complete paragraph for your own opinion. So, after reading the project a couple times for clarity, I felt your strongest point was on how you personally view the character Du Tenth. You do an excellent job balancing your sources with your commentary which as a reader is important because it gives a sense of knowledge in the story while backing up any and all claims you have with the credible text the idea is based on. Overall great job Sabian!
Hi Sabian, I really enjoyed reading your third project. Interestingly I had also chosen to do Du Tenth for this project too. Anyways I liked that you gave a brief summary in your introduction section about the story since it gives the readers a bit of background knowledge on the story and who the characters are. Your thesis statement is short but it is very straightforward and clear on what you will be addressing which is very good. I liked how you incorporated many quotes as evidence and explain more about them. One thing that I would suggest is to reword the beginning of your topic sentences a bit and try to state what point you will be talking about in each paragraph. I liked how you really focused in on how others perceived Du Tenth and you did a good job in putting your perspective in the project. Overall you did a fantastic job.
Hi Sabian, I thought the question you chose for your project matched up very well to the story you chose, because the way Du Tenth is perceived by others and even herself plays such an important role in the actions she takes throughout the story and is ultimately what leads her to kill herself rather than be treated like she's worthless by another person she cares about. I think your organization was great, breaking up the paragraphs by character makes it so you really see the evidence for how they personally saw Du Tenth. The only recommendation I have is maybe to use less in text citations, I don't think you need to cite a page unless you are quoting or very closely paraphrasing the author. Also, instead of having so many quotes that often don't give much context, you could focus on longer quotes and break them down more. Having too many quotes can sometimes rob them of significance, but the structure made sure that your writing was clear and to the point regardless of this, so great job!
Sabian, first off great job on your third project revision. You started off with a very clear and strong thesis. I knew exactly what prompt that you chose for your analysis. For the first character chosen, which was the madam I could clearly see how she viewed Du Tenth. Likewise, I could clearly see how Liu Yuchun also viewed her and how his attitutude towards her overtime changed. You did the same with Li. Anyone reading your analysis whether they ever read the story could get a clear picture of the type of woman Du Tenth was, which is one of the things an analysis should do. Lastly, I appreciate your attitude towards her and I also agree with how you saw her. She was a very kind woman, who was also loyal. It makes me wonder if her beginning was different (upbringing) how different she would have been. Great job!
Hi there, Sabian! Wow, great work on this project! You definitely proposed your thesis clearly and focused and that made me excited to read it! I think it’s important that you engage your reader right from the beginning, so I definitely admire your ability to do that right from the start. You also provided a clear roadmap in your introduction paragraph that also helps to engage your readers and help them to not get distracted and have a clear idea going into it. Great work! I especially like that you provided your own point of view on the character. It added another engaging aspect with the relatability for the reader and encouraged me to think of my own viewpoint of the character. I think it provides a deeper understanding of the literature and it really helped me to pinpoint my own ideas of what I had on the work. Great job!!
Hi Sabian! I enjoyed reading your final project about Du Tenth and how other characters viewed her. I used this prompt for my first project, but I used a different story (Tartuffe). I really liked reading how she was a prostitute and how you found others to view her. I love getting different views and perspectives on the stories we read, since we all read the same thing but have different ways of seeing things. You brought up great points followed by great quotes to solidify your project. I think your final project was well written and had a nice flow to it. Great work on your project as well as all the work you put in this semester!
Hello Sabien, great job on the revision for project three. The way you went about the project layout was well done. You went into a lot of detail on the numerous characters and also providing strong quotes to back up your projects claim. I think that the seperating the paraghraphs between the cahracters to explain them made your project strong. It made it so that the reader knows exactly what your project objective is. I only noticed one thing in your project that might need a second look and that is the last sentence of the first paragraph. Re-reading the sentence it's clear to see that you want to give your initial thoughts on the characters but it doesn't say that. This is the sentence, "I'll address how the madam, Liu Yuchun, and Jia Li view Du Tenth before sharing my attitude towards her." Overall, great work and keep it up.
Hello and Good afternoon Sabian! I have just read your project three revision and I would like to say very well done! You defiantly address the systemic abuse that Du goes through daily and how her life is not valued or respected. Even though her life benefits everyone who abuses her. She makes money for her madam, and her lover is granted pleasure and service.
I feel you fairly represented Liu, who was looking out for his friend, but who let his bias blind him to the truth.
Your descriptive writing made me feel very sorry for Du when Li traded her off to Sun. The utter betrayal over simple talk was so disappointing, and must have ripped Du's heart out.
Overall I found your work to be very well cited and the quotes were very good to back your points.
I hope you have had a great semester and happy summer!
Hi Sabian! I enjoyed reading your third and final project submission. You did an amazing job overall and I found your project submission on Du Tenth extremely interesting and understandable. You had really good transitions, summarized the story well, and you analyzed very well too. I can really tell what the other characters view-points were of Du and what your view-points were as well. You did a great job of incorporating quotes to back up what you were saying and made sure they fit into the right paragraph. Looking at your work, I agree she deserved so much more as well.I too feel that she was probably misunderstood for her profession and was actually a genuine and kind person. I could tell of this by simply her actions throughout the story. I could not find anything to fix in your project submission because you did such a great job. You have done a really great job throughout the semester on your project work and other assignments as well. I wish you luck on your future endeavors and I hope you have a great summer!
HI Sabian, your project work on Tartuffe was very interesting and enjoyable to read. You had a lot of very good information and your paragraphs were focused and thorough. You did a good job on focusing on a certain topic or issue and expanded it very well. Although one thing that I would suggest is clarifying your thesis, since I could not tell at the introduction what you were going to be discussing. I am a little confused as to what exactly I should be reading or what your main point is, are you trying to address the different ways that Tartuffe could have been improved. In the second paragraph you give a brief historical summary about the play and in the third paragraph you talk about the story itself, and in the fourth you talk about the different characters and their effect on the story. I feel like the transitions could be much smoother and a little bit of organization on the paragraphs, but that is my perspective. You do a fantastic job analyzing the play and giving your point of view, but it would be great if there was a stronger and clearer thesis. Overall you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteHello Sabian,
ReplyDeleteI found your project on Tartuffe to be quite the eye opener. Upon reading your first few paragraphs I got a real sense of the purpose behind Moliere's writing. Linking the text back to historical context was a great way to secure ideas about the reading to something very tangible. Your statement about the dues ex machina ending I felt was spot on in reference to the continuous need to appeal the king. Why is it, do you think, that these playwrights felt so strongly about changing their works of art for the king that they would sacrifice even their own morality. The details regarding Dorine are strong in your article. Also, Tartuffe is a character who, himself, is a man who sheds his own morals, but for his own gain. Do you think that maybe Tartuffe could be symbolic of the playwrights of the time as well? I would say that your project looks excellent, great job!
Hi Sabian! I think that your project had a really great idea, and I really loved your idea of having Dorine be the one that saved the day. I also love how you formatted your project because it was formatted clearly as an essay. I had a lot of trouble with that, so I admire that a lot and can use that and reflect it in my own project. I think you had a lot of great points about how Dorine aided in saving everybody, and I wish that you had kind of focused more on Dorine rather than the play as a whole because you spend a lot of time explaining the context in the play itself but I think you could’ve focused on what you were actually trying to get at. I really wish you had written more about Dorine because I think you have a bunch of really clear ideas and you just need to build on them and show them to us because I can tell that they’re brewing in your brain and you can show us something amazing. All I wanted was more. Overall great job, though!! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Sabian, I want to thank you for doing a great job on your literary analysis as it gave me a few ideas on how i should approach to my future projects. I think you made a valid point that the the way the play "Tartuffe" concludes was done in the expense of King Louis's favor because he was watching the play. You did a good job by proving that to me through the use of short embedded quotations and well thought out explanation. I also liked that there wasn't much summarizing of the text as compared to your first revision of your draft. This time you take one textual evidence piece and analyze it in your body paragraphs. I also agree that if Dorine, who was set up as a charismatic and intriguing character, was able to outwit the antagonist, it would've made the ending ten times better. But like you said, Moliere wastes that opportunity because he wanted to impress the king.
ReplyDeleteHi Sabian! I found your analysis of both poems to be very in depth and thoughtful. You basically did a close reading of the poems, analyzing the meaning of each line to demystify the true message of the poets. It made it so much easier to follow along with your thoughts, and see where you were going. However, maybe you could break up the paragraphs, because they were very big, as you covered the whole poem all at once in each. This made it a little harder to read.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it would help make your points stronger if you didn't separate the authors by paragraph. Your point is to compare them, but your Dickinson paragraph doesn't overlap much with your Keats paragraph, making it feel like you've done two different analyses instead of one compare and contrast essay. Maybe you could look at some lines side by side to show your comparisons more clearly. Hope this helps!
Sabian, you did a great job on your project submission. Your thesis was clear, and you pulled strong facts from the text to support your thesis. You made sure you compared/contrast how each author felt about death. I could clearly see that both authors felt that truth regarding death should be distorted in some way even though it was for different reason. In the end, through your thesis I could see how both authors, again, in different ways chose to give up on life. Emily isolated herself while Keats felt that it was pointless to have dreams since one will not know if they can and will achieve them. After reading your analysis, I realized that how people view death, shapes their beliefs and determines the way they live. My only suggestion is maybe breaking your third paragraph up, you had a lot of information regarding Emily’s poem. You don’t want to overwhelm your readers with facts that lose sight that there is another point that you are introducing. I enjoyed your project.
ReplyDeleteHey Sabian,
ReplyDeleteYou did great work with your project 2 submission first of all because you a brave thing by starting with such a small introduction and this is brave because not only does it leave more for analysis but it leaves more room to show how much you know the text you are writing about. This is very impressive since this essay show you clearly grasped the topic in your essay and with your strong thesis the overflow of quotes help prove your point to be true. You took the theme of death and made me understand line by line how your author is explaining that through their poem and as a reader that was very helpful. Also helpful when it comes to a reading like this that I wasn't to fond of when reading the assigned readings. The skill of comparing two authors is one I also did because it gave me more than enough to write about and allowed me to use poems as my readings I would write about so very smart thinking.
Hello Sabian!
ReplyDeleteGreat work on your second project! You had a great thesis which helped me see what you were going to talk about in your project. I also think you did a great job analyzing what both authors were talking about in their writings and you did a great job explaining their views on death. It appears both authors have a quite depressing view when it comes to death and its interesting what their takes on death are. Keep up the great work and can't wait to see more!
Hello Sabian,
ReplyDeleteThis project has an incredible amount of depth which I really liked! You choose to compare and contrast the theme of death is two different writings from Dickinson and Keats. What struck me as the strongest writing in this project was your breakdown of Emily Dickinson's "1129". I felt it was strong because you would give your dialogue on what you believed the poem said about death, then you back it up with the literature, and then you would give the interpretations of the words that are used in each line you cited. This really helps shed some clarity on what she was trying to convey in her work on death. The second writing you chose by Keats was also a great one on the theme of death. I felt you went in more of a reflective direction when diving into his work, and I think that works better than the more analytical breakdown of Dickinson. It was a job well done, and I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Sabian!
ReplyDeleteI like that you chose Emily Dickinson to focus on for this project. I enjoyed reading her work. I like that you began by giving some insight into Dickinson’s life. She was kind of a strange women but I guess she was just shy. It is a shame she did not want to publish most of her work because it is so well written and very unique. I like your analysis of the poem “1129” it was very thorough. So was your analysis of John Keats’ “When I Have Fears That May Cease To Be” I especially liked “Death is an uncontrollable force that creates so much uncertainty about one's lifespan to the point where Keats feels it's pointless to have dreams and aspirations because he can't know for sure if he can achieve everything he wants to.” I really liked reading your project it was well put together. Keep up the good work!
Hi Sabian! I enjoyed reading your second project submission. It was really interesting to read about your take on death between the two authors and how they saw death. You analyzed this extremely well and I like how you organized the paragraphs by work. You also backed up your claims well with evidence and even explain that evidence well. I also like how you emphasized in the conclusion what you were talking about and even concluded your project submission very well. You did a really good job at making your project submission topic agreeable and what you had to say about death made a lot of sense. I agreed with a lot of what you had said in your paragraphs. I do not really see anything wrong with your project submission. I only can suggest that maybe you can divide the really long paragraphs so they are not as long. Overall, you did a really amazing job on your project submission and chose a really good topic to write about. Great job and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi sabian! I just read your third project submission and I want to let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed it. You did a good job in explaining the point of view of Li's character on Du tenth and the brothel owner. I liked that you formatted each point of view into separate paragraphs and I think you put in alot of effort into explaining Li's point of view by mentioning the internal struggle he had because he was allowing other people's perceptions to alter his perception of Du tenth's love for him. I liked that you inlcuded the example of his friend who was trying to change his mind and I also liked that you mentioned that why Li was fearful of the public finding out that he married a prostitute. I liked that you shared your point of view and that you used quotations to back your view on Du tenth and proved that she was a faithful woman to Li but he screws it up because he allowed his doubts to change his mind completely. Overall, excellent work!
ReplyDeleteHello there Sabian!
ReplyDeleteFeng Menglong's "Du Tenth Sinks the Jewel Box in Anger" was the perfect choice for your given prompt which was analyzing the different views of characters within the story and how they personally felt towards the main female character (in this case Du Tenth). I think your thesis makes sense but could use a tweak in wording maybe? I like the breakdown in your paragraphs, one for each person you are analyzing and then one complete paragraph for your own opinion. So, after reading the project a couple times for clarity, I felt your strongest point was on how you personally view the character Du Tenth. You do an excellent job balancing your sources with your commentary which as a reader is important because it gives a sense of knowledge in the story while backing up any and all claims you have with the credible text the idea is based on. Overall great job Sabian!
Hi Sabian, I really enjoyed reading your third project. Interestingly I had also chosen to do Du Tenth for this project too. Anyways I liked that you gave a brief summary in your introduction section about the story since it gives the readers a bit of background knowledge on the story and who the characters are. Your thesis statement is short but it is very straightforward and clear on what you will be addressing which is very good. I liked how you incorporated many quotes as evidence and explain more about them. One thing that I would suggest is to reword the beginning of your topic sentences a bit and try to state what point you will be talking about in each paragraph. I liked how you really focused in on how others perceived Du Tenth and you did a good job in putting your perspective in the project. Overall you did a fantastic job.
ReplyDeleteHi Sabian, I thought the question you chose for your project matched up very well to the story you chose, because the way Du Tenth is perceived by others and even herself plays such an important role in the actions she takes throughout the story and is ultimately what leads her to kill herself rather than be treated like she's worthless by another person she cares about. I think your organization was great, breaking up the paragraphs by character makes it so you really see the evidence for how they personally saw Du Tenth. The only recommendation I have is maybe to use less in text citations, I don't think you need to cite a page unless you are quoting or very closely paraphrasing the author. Also, instead of having so many quotes that often don't give much context, you could focus on longer quotes and break them down more. Having too many quotes can sometimes rob them of significance, but the structure made sure that your writing was clear and to the point regardless of this, so great job!
ReplyDeleteSabian, first off great job on your third project revision. You started off with a very clear and strong thesis. I knew exactly what prompt that you chose for your analysis. For the first character chosen, which was the madam I could clearly see how she viewed Du Tenth. Likewise, I could clearly see how Liu Yuchun also viewed her and how his attitutude towards her overtime changed. You did the same with Li. Anyone reading your analysis whether they ever read the story could get a clear picture of the type of woman Du Tenth was, which is one of the things an analysis should do. Lastly, I appreciate your attitude towards her and I also agree with how you saw her. She was a very kind woman, who was also loyal. It makes me wonder if her beginning was different (upbringing) how different she would have been. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Sabian! Wow, great work on this project! You definitely proposed your thesis clearly and focused and that made me excited to read it! I think it’s important that you engage your reader right from the beginning, so I definitely admire your ability to do that right from the start. You also provided a clear roadmap in your introduction paragraph that also helps to engage your readers and help them to not get distracted and have a clear idea going into it. Great work! I especially like that you provided your own point of view on the character. It added another engaging aspect with the relatability for the reader and encouraged me to think of my own viewpoint of the character. I think it provides a deeper understanding of the literature and it really helped me to pinpoint my own ideas of what I had on the work. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteHi Sabian! I enjoyed reading your final project about Du Tenth and how other characters viewed her. I used this prompt for my first project, but I used a different story (Tartuffe). I really liked reading how she was a prostitute and how you found others to view her. I love getting different views and perspectives on the stories we read, since we all read the same thing but have different ways of seeing things. You brought up great points followed by great quotes to solidify your project. I think your final project was well written and had a nice flow to it. Great work on your project as well as all the work you put in this semester!
ReplyDeleteHello Sabien, great job on the revision for project three. The way you went about the project layout was well done. You went into a lot of detail on the numerous characters and also providing strong quotes to back up your projects claim. I think that the seperating the paraghraphs between the cahracters to explain them made your project strong. It made it so that the reader knows exactly what your project objective is. I only noticed one thing in your project that might need a second look and that is the last sentence of the first paragraph. Re-reading the sentence it's clear to see that you want to give your initial thoughts on the characters but it doesn't say that. This is the sentence, "I'll address how the madam, Liu Yuchun, and Jia Li view Du Tenth before sharing my attitude towards her." Overall, great work and keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHello and Good afternoon Sabian!
ReplyDeleteI have just read your project three revision and I would like to say very well done! You defiantly address the systemic abuse that Du goes through daily and how her life is not valued or respected. Even though her life benefits everyone who abuses her. She makes money for her madam, and her lover is granted pleasure and service.
I feel you fairly represented Liu, who was looking out for his friend, but who let his bias blind him to the truth.
Your descriptive writing made me feel very sorry for Du when Li traded her off to Sun. The utter betrayal over simple talk was so disappointing, and must have ripped Du's heart out.
Overall I found your work to be very well cited and the quotes were very good to back your points.
I hope you have had a great semester and happy summer!
Hi Sabian! I enjoyed reading your third and final project submission. You did an amazing job overall and I found your project submission on Du Tenth extremely interesting and understandable. You had really good transitions, summarized the story well, and you analyzed very well too. I can really tell what the other characters view-points were of Du and what your view-points were as well. You did a great job of incorporating quotes to back up what you were saying and made sure they fit into the right paragraph. Looking at your work, I agree she deserved so much more as well.I too feel that she was probably misunderstood for her profession and was actually a genuine and kind person. I could tell of this by simply her actions throughout the story. I could not find anything to fix in your project submission because you did such a great job. You have done a really great job throughout the semester on your project work and other assignments as well. I wish you luck on your future endeavors and I hope you have a great summer!
ReplyDelete